Part of the problem is societal; for decades working mothers have been blamed for the neglect of their children, the breakdown of the family. But study after study has proven that kids of working moms are happy, healthy and thriving. I say it?s time for working moms to lose the guilt once and for all.

Mommy Guilt is Normal, but Useless

In today?s bleak economy, even more mothers are working full-time, with longer hours, or taking second jobs just to make ends meet. For many women, working isn?t a choice, it?s an economic reality and guilt becomes just one more pressure on already overburdened women.

For other women, their career is an integral part of who they are. For them, it?s hard to imagine life as a stay-at-home mom. But the stresses of managing childcare and managing the household, on top of work responsibilities, can add to the sense of overwhelm many working mothers feel.

Just this morning, a co-worker?s eyes welled up with tears in my cube as she told me about how she had just fired her nanny after not showing up for work multiple times and the new one showed up an hour late on her first day. What my co-worker wants is to simply be able to concentrate on work while at her job and focus on the family when at home, and not feel torn no matter where she is or what she?s doing.

Here?s the good news: losing the guilt will make you a better worker and a better mother.

Day Care Isn?t Damaging

The latest studies show working women and their children are doing just fine. A 2005 Texas University Study found no difference in development between children of working and stay-at-home moms. A better predictor of how a child will do is their home environment and household income. It should be reassuring to know that the paycheck Mom brings home is making a big difference in everyone?s life. And remember that it?s more important to focus on what?s going on at home when you?re there, than when you?re not.

Dads are Doing More

Working moms would be wise to take a cue from working dads. Guilt isn?t a daily emotion for most of them, and instead they?re proud of the time they do spend with their kids.

According to a study by the Families and Work Institute, Gen X fathers spend an hour more a day with their kids than fathers did 25 years ago. Today?s dads are taking on more of the parenting duties — and kids are better for it even if their clothes don’t always match.

If Mom?s Happy Everybody?s Happy

Many women get great satisfaction from their jobs. Despite the pangs of guilt they may feel, statistics show working women are healthier and less depressed than nonworking moms. Moms who enjoy their work also set a good example for their children, modeling how to handle a busy, successful career.

Isn?t it time to focus on making the most of the time you have at work and at home?

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When parents have a teen that still wets the bed, the reaction of the parents is often to guard the disorder as a closely held secret of shame, as if the teen somehow has something wrong with him or her. But in almost every case of teen bedwetting, the problem is the same: inherited sleep patterns that cause the teen to sleep so deeply that the signal from the bladder cannot be detected.

If you are experiencing teen bedwetting issues, whether you are the parent or the teen, there are things you can do?and the first is to stop blaming yourself or being angry with yourself for failing to wake up in time to make it to the bathroom.

Facts about teen bedwetting (according to the National Kidney Foundation and Enuresis Treatment Center):

? 2 out of every 100 teens at age 15 wets the bed

? Bedwetting is hereditary; if you wet the bed at an older age, there is a 35% chance your teen will too

? 99% of teen bedwetting problems are a symptom of sleep pattern issues, which are actually a much more serious issue (severe sleep issues can cause the person to stop breathing)

? Often, bedwetters are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and/or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, because the symptoms are similar to those of a deep-sleep disorder

By addressing the sleep pattern issues, the teen bedwetting issues can almost always be resolved, as well as any other sleep-related complications. Your local hospital should have information on sleep centers in your area that can help you determine the nature of your sleep issues. You can even begin addressing teen bedwetting problems with your family physician, who can prescribe medicines that help reduce the production of urine at night as well as other remedies for short-term help while you resolve the sleep pattern issues.

Teen bedwetting should not be an issue that gets tucked away in a closet as a closely-guarded family secret. The more we talk about the challenges teens face, the more likely it is that your teen will be better prepared to face challenges in the future, whether they are health-related or not.

Parents can take the sting out of bedwetting by reassuring their teen that the problem can be resolved. Make your teen as comfortable as possible at night by providing absorbent garments, protective sheets, and easy access to the bathroom. If you wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, wake your teen as well and you may be able to help him or her.

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An hour later, with lots of questions answered, we found some hidden issues that had been keeping me sleepless for many months and she decided to target that for this first visit.

Like many of you, I?m a talker ? not someone to just lay there and take it, so we started talking about the fast paced world we live in, our families, our dreams and goals,our childhood, and our Moms.

She said her and her sister had revently had the same conversation and had come to the same conclusion…She said ?We’re living for the line?. You see, her Mom had suddenly passed away recently and there was a line out the door and around the funeral home three hours before the viewing. The Funeral Director was one of her customers so they had chosen to stay open many hours past normal closing time so everyone in that line could honor her Mom and offer her family their condolences. “It was overwhelming to see how much she was loved by people we didn’t even know! That?s what I want when I die? Sharin said. “I?m living for that line!?

What made her mom so special I asked? She worked at a small credit union in a small town and of course, knew everyone. In fact when she saw you drive up to do business, she would pull up all your information and have it waiting for you on her computer screen before you even sat down. If you brought in your children or your pet, there was a snack for them as well. She knew your anniversary date,the birthdays of every customer, their spouse?s names, and every one of their children?s names. It was her privilege to serve you and do it well and with a warm heart.

One of my daughter?s recently had talked about adopting a child from a third world country to add to her healthy family of 6 and I asked, ?Honey don?t you think your plate is already full?? And her response was, ?Mom,I believe that you have two choices in the way you take on this life. You can make life work for you ? scheduling your tennis and golf appointments, making your nail and hair appointments, going on exotic and expensive vacations?.or you can work for your life ? constantly growing, experiencing, and making a difference while you?re here. When I die I want to make sure my life is all used up!? It was then I realized, that was her way of saying ?I?m living for the line.?

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