Talking With Your Teen About Date Rape
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Talking With Your Teen About Date Rape
Sometimes, words and phrases get used so much that they become too comfortable. The media gets ahold of them and they become buzz words and the meaning behind the words gets lost. Date rape sometimes seems to be one of them. In fact, I have recently heard some girls tossing around the word ‘rape’ like it is something funny. But having someone physically force you to participate in a sex act that you do not want to participate in is anything but funny.
As a parent, you need to talk to your kids about date rape. Date rape is forcible sexual activity against a person?s will by someone they know. It is common among high school and college age teens and young adults. It often goes under reported and the impact of the experience can be emotionally devastating. Date rape often occurs in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships where one partner is ready for more sexuality than the other is. It often begins with verbal pressure and harassment that often leads to physical coercion.
Yes, you should talk to your daughters and let them know that their bodies belong to them and they have the power to say no when being pressured to have sex. You should talk tothem about identifying risky situations and avoiding situations that might result in date rape (getting into a car with a boy they don’t trust, going somewhere other than they planned to go with a boy, drinking or accepting a drink they did not pour themselves).
We also need to talk to daughters about misusing the word rape in a joking manner. As devastating as it is for a girl to experience rape of any kind, it can be just as devastating for a boy to be accused of it who has not actually done anything wrong. While it is less common, we also need to talk to our daughters about respecting boys’ limits and not trying to force their boyfriends to participate in sex acts that make them uncomfortable. Date rape does happen where the female is the perpetrator.
Talking to teenage boys about date rape should be a similar conversation to the one you have with your daughters: the boys should respect the word no, no matter what has happened up to that point, but they should also have the power to say no if they feel like they are the ones being pressured. It is okay to tell your teen son that it’s ok not to have sex.
An area that may be neglected in the whole conversation is that of same sex date rape. Whether both parties are homosexual or they are just experimenting with sexuality, your teens should know that the same rules apply with same sex friends that apply with the opposite sex.
Ultimately, this topic needs to be addressed with both genders. The more we can send a consistent message of respect for boundaries, and the younger we can start addressing respect for boundaries in age appropriate ways, the better kids will be at handling the situations that arise.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today?s Teenager ? How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
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