Lose the Mommy Guilt: How Kids Benefit When Mom Works

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, in the United States today, more than half of all mothers with young children work. Working mothers have become the rule, rather than the exception yet ask around any office and you?ll find that guilt is the number one emotion many working moms struggle with. Guilt that they missed their baby take his first step, that they can?t be room mother at school or that they?re not there when the kids get off the school bus.

Part of the problem is societal; for decades working mothers have been blamed for the neglect of their children, the breakdown of the family. But study after study has proven that kids of working moms are happy, healthy and thriving. I say it?s time for working moms to lose the guilt once and for all.

Mommy Guilt is Normal, but Useless

In today?s bleak economy, even more mothers are working full-time, with longer hours, or taking second jobs just to make ends meet. For many women, working isn?t a choice, it?s an economic reality and guilt becomes just one more pressure on already overburdened women.

For other women, their career is an integral part of who they are. For them, it?s hard to imagine life as a stay-at-home mom. But the stresses of managing childcare and managing the household, on top of work responsibilities, can add to the sense of overwhelm many working mothers feel.

Just this morning, a co-worker?s eyes welled up with tears in my cube as she told me about how she had just fired her nanny after not showing up for work multiple times and the new one showed up an hour late on her first day. What my co-worker wants is to simply be able to concentrate on work while at her job and focus on the family when at home, and not feel torn no matter where she is or what she?s doing.

Here?s the good news: losing the guilt will make you a better worker and a better mother.

Day Care Isn?t Damaging

The latest studies show working women and their children are doing just fine. A 2005 Texas University Study found no difference in development between children of working and stay-at-home moms. A better predictor of how a child will do is their home environment and household income. It should be reassuring to know that the paycheck Mom brings home is making a big difference in everyone?s life. And remember that it?s more important to focus on what?s going on at home when you?re there, than when you?re not.

Dads are Doing More

Working moms would be wise to take a cue from working dads. Guilt isn?t a daily emotion for most of them, and instead they?re proud of the time they do spend with their kids.

According to a study by the Families and Work Institute, Gen X fathers spend an hour more a day with their kids than fathers did 25 years ago. Today?s dads are taking on more of the parenting duties — and kids are better for it even if their clothes don’t always match.

If Mom?s Happy Everybody?s Happy

Many women get great satisfaction from their jobs. Despite the pangs of guilt they may feel, statistics show working women are healthier and less depressed than nonworking moms. Moms who enjoy their work also set a good example for their children, modeling how to handle a busy, successful career.

Isn?t it time to focus on making the most of the time you have at work and at home?

Phaedra Cucina is president of DolceVita Woman, LLC and a working mother of two young children. She wrote the children?s book ?My Mommy?s On a Business Trip? (http://mommytrip.com) to help her young daughter feel better about their time apart.

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